Julep Downtown - Coming Together!

We passed our inspection today! (Thanks Kirk & Mitch from Wilcox!!).

Our general inspection was delayed because we initially failed our fire inspection because our strobes or horns or both were not powerful enough, so we had to get our electrician back to change the wiring, but the fire alarm guys did not show up as planned yesterday to test the system, so we were flying blind in our general inspection. And that's not the half of it.

It's amazing how many details have to come together for us to open! Amy has been interviewing and hiring up a storm on the vernisseur front. Kate M. has been managing dozens of suppliers, bringing doughnuts where possible. Mary Lee has been hitting every store in Seattle, shopping for vernisseur baskets, trash cans, office supplies, mirrors, benches and more (while also working as a parlor hostess!). Jeanne orchestrated all of this to work by stressing about it months ago, and Lisa has been preparing for immersion. Lisa, Kate G and Angelina have been preparing training materials, and Angelina and Lisa have been working on our retail products. And Danielle's been making sure our suppliers are paid, while Anna and Patience are continuing to support and nourture our first parlor.

WOW.

LOTS of hard work has gone into bringing the Julep experience to more women. And just tonight, a group of businesswomen walked by our new parlor and started dancing in excitement. (We're not even making that up, either!). That guest excitement is what makes this all worthwhile!!

Slice of life

Tomorrow I am working on:

- Getting 2 investors their documents to sign
- Getting together with my broker, Tracy Cornell, for our weekly drive around to look for new locations
- Figuring out what to do about a location on the East Side
- Coordinating getting decals on our windows downtown
- Finishing writing our front desk new menu training (which we're holding Sunday night, for exciting new menu that will be launched on Tuesday)
- Having lunch with Scott Staff and a colleague of his at Purple
- Checking in with Kari and Jennifer at Marketing Alchemist
- Checking in with Kate G for our weekly one on one
- Figuring out how to implement our call center (and purchasing the phones we need to do that)
- Looking at our Immersion Binder to figure out what we need to add to make it better
- Hopefully accepting delivery of the first batch of our new menus!!!
- Taking my mom out for her birthday!

Chris at Dovetail

Here's Chris at Dovetail, who's building our new transaction plane, manicure bar table, sink cabinets, and, most incredibly, an awesome all-in-one manicure table / drink table / purse holder / pedicure cart solution. All designed by the crazy talented Jennifer Thuma - with lots of live input from all of our team, but especially Amy and Lisa. Thank you Chris, for working so hard on our project - and for weathering all our constant changes and occasional tears.

Flooring is in!

Weekly Manager Meetings

Here's a teeny picture of the interior wall turned gun-metal grey (from Kate's phone camera). And the rest of the walls painted buterry.

And the new parlor is not the only thing that's been moving forward in leaps and bounds!

We now have an official Julep Manager Resource Guide, 2008, which pulls together all of the information, tools and processes we've been developing over the past 10 months. We've been taking some time each Wednesday to meet with the manager teams from our first parlor, and our new downtown parlor (and one new location that we'll announce soon . .. ).

For those of you who have been at the parlor, wondering what the heck all the "Manager Meeting" blockouts are for, here's the inside look.

Over the past few weeks, we've been sitting in rather uncomfortable (but free!) chairs in our Support Center office, taking the time to pull together, improve and share everything we know about how to support you better. In particular, we've covered the PURPOSE, and HOW-TOs of:

- Strengthening and Sharing Julep's Mission and Values

- Delivering Memorably Outstanding Customer Service

- Staff Development, Management and Career Paths

- Optimizing Parlor Performance

- Cash Management

- Inventory Management

- Facilities Management

Jeanne created an tabbed binder that breaks down each of these areas into "Daily," "Weekly," and "As Needed" responsibilities. Then we have the specific goals, metrics, tools, reports, processes and forms in each relevant section. (I was her hole puncher and binder organizer, and I was so amazed by all the rich material! And my hand hurt by the end). It's all what each team makes of it, but we were trying our hardest to enable smoother, more predictable expectations going forward - especially as we launch additional parlors.

We've also had great debates about what Julep IS (passion for touch, job that feeds your soul, passion for the environment, growth, opportunity, openness to be creative, openness to new ideas, team work, customer service driven, excited, asking instead of telling, accountabiltiy, integrity, honesty, authenticity, walking the talk, pride in our work), what Julep IS NOT (first one out the door, dispassionate, artificial (nails or personality), soley money motivated, selfish, "solo artist," chop shop, "because I said so").

And then we've created and shared staffing tools (where I got to dust off my advanced excel skills), goals and metrics. We've created a mentorship program for new team members, as well as a new immersion program.

I'm so proud of what we are today - but it's exciting to think about what we're going to be a month from now.

Of course, it's frightening. We're about to more than double in size. And we're thinking explicitly about how to do this while preserving what is great about our culture and work environment, and strenghening it in areas where we needed to develop.

Like therapy, I think it's powerful to name and detail out our fears. They are justified! And only then we can plan around how to avoid these potential pitfalls.

Fireplace - Now you don't see it, Now you do!

Here's Jennifer measuring for the sink cabinet, and notice the hole where the fireplace is going to go in . . . and then it's suddenly in! Kate M. also captured on film a rare moment where I'm actually making Kirk smile, not cry. This week, Mitch had in his weekly notes item 4.11: "No more changes."

Now Mitch, I've watched all the design shows, and Opening Soon by Design (when it was on), and it seems to me that we're very light on changes compared to the average Restauranteur (at least the ones who land on reality TV, anyway).

But we will try harder to limit our creative expression from this point forth.

This week was the first time the Downtown parlor seemed truly real to me.

Maybe it was the fireplace going in.

Real Parlor Games

Lisa (our most excellent New Products and Training Manager), just presented me tonight with a book that she and her husband Mike found antiquing this weekend (yes, yes, she admits it is "nerdy" to antique). It's called, "Parlor Games," by Helen Hollister, published in 1922.

It's full of brilliant exercises. I actually really love parlor games (it wasn't just a convenient name for my blog). Board games, charades, pictionary, bridge, you name it. I'm on a quest to amass enough social power to be able to force people to come to my dinner parties and pretend that they love these games as much as I do.

Here's a perfect example from page 35:

SLANDER

"One player goes from the room, while the leader, providing himself with pencil and paper, writes down all the remarks uttered by each member of the party, in turn, concerning the absent party." (JP: But it gets even better).

"He, being then recalled, the remarks are read to him while he endeavors to guess the names of the originators. If he succeeds in tracing a remark to its source, the person having uttered it must go from the room to be slandered in turn."

Now look me in the computer screen and tell me that this wouldn't have added an exciting spark to your last gathering.

Perfect for weddings, birthdays, and corporate gatherings!

T Minus Seven Weeks

The temporary sign is up outside our new downtown parlor! (Thanks Keith and Kate!). And Danielle & Lucy, who modelled for the photo in the sign.
























And drywall is starting to go up, as Kirk points the way.

We've got LOTS of plugs in the manager office, Jeanne! So you can plug in your laptop AND your breast pump.

At seven weeks before opening (May 1st!!), my internal panic alarm has started going off. I think this is the point at which, last time, I had to abandon luxuries like time to shower.

But I'm so lucky that I've got such amazing people with me this time.

"Don't worry," say Amy, Anna and Patience, as we plan our recruiting events.

"Don't worry," says Kate M, who's keeping us on track on our downtown buildout.

"Don't worry," says Kate G, as she comes up with one awesome party offering idea after another.

"WORRY!!!" says Jeanne. But I'm chalking some of that up to the fact that she's having a baby in May, just as we open downtown. And I think she's trying to do everything she can to have us not calling her up in the Labor & Delivery Ward.

Speaking of babies, we're eagerly awaiting news of Shari's baby.

And I got an e-mail from Margot titled "Resurfacing" yesterday. She's seeing her oncologist tomorrow, but is recovering like a hero.

We have so much to be grateful for!

Congratulations Brune and Richard

Last week I traveled to New York for some meetings with prospective and current investors, and I invited myself to Brune & Richard's 10th anniversary party.

Brune & Richard is a boutique law firm started by smart, thoughtful, funny, amazingly dedicated women. (So smart, in fact, that several of them are Julep early investors and supporters - but I'd truly admire them regardless).

It was inspiring to see how B&R grew its practice - from the five lawyers they were five years ago, when I first met them through my friends Theresa and Nina, to the over twenty they are today on both coasts of this country.

I wish that all young lawyers, and especially young women lawyers, could have had a peek at this celebration. They would have seen a line of glamoristas who are living engaging professional and personal lives. The four women partners have built an exciting practice while being spouses to lovely men and mothers to lovely children. And boy, can they dance.

I wish I could have seen this fifteen years ago, when I was graduating from college. But I'm inspired by seeing it today.

My 100th Post!!

So it turns out this is my 100th post. Hooray!

Yes, it might have felt like SOO much more (because of the ginormousness of the pearls of wisdom or the tediousness of the sharing of the same, depending on what side of bipolar you're on at any particular time).

I think the Washington State Liquor Control Board should give me a special license to serve champagne in the parlor in honor of this achievement. (Hint hint).

So here we are, in Week 3 of construction, deciding fairly last minute to tear away the red wall - and finding - hooray! that we have an additional 10 inches on top of the 5 that we were hoping to get. Apparently the wall was furred out. (I'm not sure if it's furred or firred, but I love the idea of a fuzzy, furry thing so I'm going to spell it furred until someone at Home Depot tells me otherwise).

Kate felt strongly that we had to do this, after simulating the width of the space between the manicure table and the reception counter. There are a lot of things in the world making us feel less than ideal in terms of the size of our waists - the walkways at Julep shouldn't be one of them.

So, we asked Kirk and Tom about it. They give us an estimate for the cost of doing this that seems to justify the square footage we'll recover, and then Tom wonders what's behind the wall. Kirk gets out his saw, cuts a hole in the wall, and finds out that there's nothing electrical and funky - it's actually just more space!

I love being able to have concrete answers to concrete problems that can be solved by Kirk's tools.

Margot's Becoming a Breast Cancer Survivor Today

Our Margot is going in for surgery today to remove the cancer that she's been fearing all her life would show up in her body.

At 1pm (and for the 5 hours afterwards!), let's all send her our best healing thoughts.

I've always admired Margot's ability to plow through any problem with her matter-of-fact get-it-done energy and razor sharp sense of humor. The magnitude of this challenge, and how she's working through it, has just underscored this admiration.

We've all given our input into the size / shape of her future "tah-tahs" (as she calls them) - Jeanne thinks they should be lit from within. To symbolize her spirit, of course.

Margot has been a faithful self-examiner, and luckily caught the signs of BC early on. Please be faithful in your self-exams and encouraging the girlfriends/moms/sisters in your life to do the same.

We're going to have a huge party for Margot at Julep to celebrate her strength and resiliency. Whether strength is a choice or not (and I think for moms with young children it often isn't!) - it's still amazing and inspiring.

All our love and best, positive energy Margot!

Jane

I am not perfect

One of my mentors has a habit of ending almost every conversation I have with him by saying, “Look, I know you’re not perfect.”

He first said this to me when I was just out of law school, desperately looking for any job outside of the profession for which I’d prepared for three years. “Look, I know you’re not perfect,” he said, as he handed me my offer letter to work for The Boston Consulting Group.

I was mortified. I took this to mean, “Look, we’re hiring you because it’s 1997, and all the business school students we really wanted to hire are foolishly joining the internet gold rush (where most of them will suffer and perish, as the original prospectors did in the 1850s), so we’re digging at the bottom of the barrel and we’re left with you. And you’re not perfect, but you’ll do.”

When I started work, I took pains to dodge him in the hallways, taking the long way around so as to avoid passing by his office. After all, he had called me on my secret from the get go.

But despite my best efforts, the day finally arrived when I had to work on a project with him. The toughest SVP in the office. The guy who was reported to be able to reduce even inanimate objects to tears.

I worked harder and exhaled less than I ever had before in my life. No matter how pretty we made things (“Look! Look! Three-dimensional bubble pie charts showing the size, potential, and fit of each market segment with the market share of our client and each of its eight competitors highlighted in different colors!”), he was never impressed.

Because, as I learned the hard way, my job was apparently about something other than impressing him with my mastery of powerpoint and the topic at hand. It turned out that it wasn’t really about me at all – it was about the clients who needed us to help them figure out what really mattered and what to do about it. “D’oh!”

I worked differently after that – and it was much more fun to truly engage with others in fixing a problem than worrying about whether I looked like an idiot. The quality of our work reflected my newfound sense of purpose – so I was surprised when, during my evaluation, I was again reminded, “But look, you’re not perfect. Are there things you could do better? Yes.” There must have been some affirmations that preceded the revisiting of my imperfections, but I can’t recall what they were.

Sometime later, as I sat down with this mentor to tell him that I was leaving BCG to move to Seattle, he was generous, gracious and wise. He empathized with the challenges of loving a job that required so much travel and time away from our families. But I have to admit that I was distracted by the drinking game-like challenge of waiting for the magic words to appear in our conversation. And appear they did. “Are you perfect? Of course not. But I think you could have a bright future here.” I had to smile to myself in hearing these now familiar words.

This same mentor is now an investor in Julep, one of the first people to believe in the vision and my ability to make it happen. Just the other day, I confessed to him that I was paradoxically feeling more and more stressed with each milestone we passed. Now there’s more at stake, something to lose, people counting on Julep in many different ways.

He had a different view. “Look, are you perfect? No. But now you've got a business with some appeal, so you’re in better shape than you were last year, and I figure that you’re going to do a better job than most of the people out there in this space.”

People talk about damning with faint praise, but it turns out that you can also profoundly reassure with the same.

Here is someone whose voice continues to strike such terror in my heart that I have been known to physically fall out of my chair at the sound of it. And he’s been VERY CLEAR on the fact that he is aware of my flaws. And yet.

Now I understand his insistence of my imperfections as a grounding credibility booster. This guy doesn’t blow smoke. Not even the smallest puff. So his vote of confidence matters. Its weight is not compromised by false compliments handed out willy nilly.

And what a relief not to have to waste precious energy on the impossible project of appearing perfect. This has been a huge gift.

Of course, one might observe that there might be kinder, more direct ways of establishing such credibility and trust.

But look, he’s not perfect.

Downtown Parlor: The Pre-Beginning

LEFT: Here it is, T minus 9 weeks and counting. Unfortunately, the coffee bar and computer monitors have yet to be cleared, but they're supposed to disappear this week. . .

BELOW: As will the gold lame wall paper and colorful wall decoration.




We're excited about all the windows and natural light! And great drive by and walk by traffic. And the sexy woman on the side of the building looking up the street.

But mostly I'm excited about the proximity to Banana Republic and the newly opening Aldo shoes.

Thanks Kate MacDonald for measuring the windows to send to Keith (who's covering for Shari, our brilliant Creative Director who's about to have her baby ANY day now!). And for taking these pictures. In this, and many countless ways big and small, we're a better Julep with you.

I'm also so thrilled to welcome Anna and Rosemary - two amazing vernisseurs who contribute as much to our culture as they do to making guests hands and feet beautiful. Every time I think that our team can't get any better - I'm proven wrong.

Jury Duty Last Week

Monday 2/11: 10am. Panic after call from husband reminding me I had jury duty this week. I locate my form - it says I should be there by 8:30am. OMG I am going to go to jail because I didn't show up. . .

Monday 2/11: 10:23am. Race into juror assembly room at the Seattle Municipal Court House. Haven’t decided yet whether to fess up about overlooking the date, or to make up some elaborate excuse involving terrorist, axis of evil, etc. But no need to decide – because it turns out I’m 22 hours early, not 2 hours late. Jury duty starts tomorrow.

Tuesday 2/12: 8:30am to 2:00pm: I love doing my civic duty! Comfortable waiting room and free tea and WiFi – I’m getting through my entire inbox while being a good citizen.

Tuesday 2/12: 2:30pm: But now I’m actually selected to be on a jury in a criminal case – despite the fact that, during voir dire, I give a botched definition of assault after admitting that I used to be a lawyer (I think I spent most of Criminal Law writing notes to Ali). And we’re brought to the 10th floor – with no WiFi, and no cell phones.

Wednesday 2/13: Spend the entire day in the jury box – and out of touch with Julep (believe it would be rude to be on cell or laptop while in the jury box. Didn’t ask our lovely bailiff about that for sure (there are plugs in the jury box . . .) but I’ve never seen that happen in a movie).

Thursday 2/14: Drop off red blankets for Valentine’s Day at Jeanne’s house for her to bring to the parlor. Then off to deliberation. Wow we deliberate for 7 hours. I’m so inspired by my fellow jurors. We work through the evidence, read the jury instructions over and over, and walk through each juror’s concerns one by one. We’re all VERY different, but there is something about this civic duty thing that pulls us together and creates an instant bond. And our foreman is amazing. Such a natural leader – able to pull each of us into the conversation, bring out common themes, and challenge weak assumptions without challenging the individual putting them forward. We start off with very different opinions, but gradually come to consensus and then unanimity. I’m really in love with the idea of community, in all its forms.

By now it’s been two fully days in a row that I’ve been out of touch with Julep – and lots of progress has been made by all while I've been celebrating the judicial process with my fellow jurors.

It’s a little distressing that practically every investor I speak with asks me what would happen if I got hit by a bus (and I suppose they’re not asking what kind of flowers they should send). But I am always amazed by the community we have working on building a Julep we can all be proud of. It’s taking a village, and I’m loving that.

Commitment to optimism

Starting – and growing – a company like Julep is a journey in optimism. Everyday, I have to ask myself what I believe in, what I care about, and where I draw the line. Everyday I recommit to building a community that brings out the best in our guests and employees.

I am amazed the diversity of challenges we face daily. From our online cash drawer deciding to play hide and seek, to financing, malfunctioning equipment and the inevitable communication issues that arise when you’re growing quickly, I am stretching organizational and emotional muscles that I didn’t even know I had (which is WAY more than can be said for my nonexistent physical muscles . . .).

We are surely not the first, nor will we be the last, group of people to face such challenges. I’ve learned, for example, that schlepping laundry in taxi cabs across the city is par for the course for spas.

But I’m hopeful that we’re different in the way we address these hurdles. With honesty, engagement, and a commitment to making things better for each other in the future.

These were just ideas until the team came along. Now they are actual faces.

I’m learning that building hope together, even in our own small corner of the universe, is a huge responsibility. I am mindful of how fragile trust can be, and how easily miscommunication or lack of clarity can overwhelm the best of intentions.

But I’m also reminded, each day, of how powerful optimism can be, especially when it’s fought for and earned.

I recognize that this earnest pursuit of betterment is killing my ability to engage in cocktail banter. I'm losing my lawyer's ability to deliver cynical zingers from the sidelines. It may also be killing my ability to write in anything other than Oprah-ese. But we’re worth it.

Means vs. Ends

I've always been a goal-oriented, ends-focused kind of gal.

But now, more than ever, I'm realizing how important it is to pay attention to the means - the processes and organzation that support our goals.

As we grow, the WAY we do things is becoming as important as WHAT we are trying to do. The way we do things holds as much meaning in defining who we are as what we are trying to accomplish.

This is hard for me.

As Jean Koh Peters, one of my law school professors, once told me, our strengths are the flip side of the coin of our weaknesses. (I think this is a really helpful way to see the world. Our weaknesses are not random holes to be patched - they are often alternate manifestations of the things we're good at).

My strength is my ability to imagine and build a path to an end goal. But my related weakness is my inability to see the path as a goal in and of itself.

As we build Julep as a community - both for out guests and for employees, I am trying to be mindful of the HOW as well as the WHAT. I'm hopeful that this will make me a stronger, more thoughtful human being in other aspects of my life.

Julep - coming to downtown Seattle

Yes, it has been a long time since anything new has appeared on this blog. But it's not for lack of exciting developments at Julep!

We had a very busy holiday season - hosting at least one party a day all through December. Thank you to everyone who celebrated the holidays with us. We loved being part of your special gifts and gatherings. (One of my favorite holiday stories is that we had one mother who bought a gift certificate for her daughter, and the next day, that same daughter came in to buy a gift certificate for her mother! And then they both came in together in January).

And last week we signed the lease for this spot in downtown Seattle at 5th and Pike - next to Betsy Johnson and diagonally across the street from Banana Republic (as well as the new Aldo store). By summer, all women downtown will have their own place to "Julep".

We've also opened our Support Center at the top of Queen Anne Hill. We're sharing office space with JS Backer Company (thank you thank you Fred!) - which has meant that we've been able to move all of our Julep inventory out of my house. (Unfortunately, I hit my husband's new car in the excitement of the move. . . but it's not that big a scratch, so net-net, I believe he's happier).

For those of you who keep checking back into this blog - thank you for hanging in there. I just realized the other day that it's been over a year of entries. This blog has helped me to get through ups and downs bigger than I could ever have imagined - and many more of them in any given day than I could ever have anticipated.

And I'm sure there are many more to come. But the biggest difference between now and last year is that there are so many more amazing individuals on this boat with me. I'm absolutely sure that there is no better team to accomplish what we're setting out to do than the creative, dedicated and passionate people I have the good fortune to work with.

Julep's First Snow

Reported by Kate.

Starting as we mean to go on

We had our second ever “Julep Immersion” program last week – and we now have more than doubled our team. It’s very exciting to have such talented, warm, and amazingly professional vernisseurs and parlor hostesses join us.

Pulling together the Immersion program and accompanying materials, I had to pause and reflect on how much my theory of nurturing a corporate new-born shares with my beliefs in nurturing a human new-born.

In both, the first few weeks are purely about survival. Sleep is a luxury, not a right. Showering is optional, coming as it does, at the expense of aforementioned precious sleep.

When you emerge from this period (hopefully mostly in tact), then you begin the audacious task of creating your identity, who you are, in this new role.

One useful piece of advice that I got from an otherwise insufferable book called “The Baby Whisperer” is that one should “start as you mean to go on”. Meaning, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep on her own, you should start out that way – putting her down in her crib to fall asleep.

Having watched countless friends and colleagues struggle to put their five year olds to bed without having to lie next to them motionless in the dark for hours each night, this seemed wise to me.

With our first child, we started as we meant to go on. That is, he was always put down on his own for his naps and at night. No matter how far the relative had traveled to see this baby, rocking him to sleep was absolutely out of the question. Because that’s not how we meant to go on.

Then I had my second, and last child. Suddenly, the world was different. This was the last time I would hold a baby of mine. This was the last time I could comfort a newborn. “Start how you mean to go on” went out the window for “enjoy this as much as you can because it’s never gonna happen again.”

In my Julep world, I am torn between these two philosophies. A good friend of mine advises me to think about the sustainability of all of my practices. “If you can’t write personal hand-written cards to every employee going forward, then should you start out that way?” she questions. “Someday, someone is going to say, ‘She used to write hand-written cards, but now she doesn’t anymore.’” It’s not starting as I’ll be able to go on.

This view of the world reminds me of Harry explaining to Sally that he preferred not to pick up his girlfriends from the airport, because inevitably, he was going to stop doing that at some point, and then he’d have to endure the “You never pick me up at the airport like you used to” conversation. He was a man intent on starting as he meant to go on!

But I believe in trying to be as supportive as possible in the given moment. I want to go to the airport today, and I want to be able to do it for as long as humanly possible. Maybe someday, I won’t be able to, but Sally is one smart cookie (as are the people who work at Julep). Surely, by then, if there’s a good reason for not being able to make it every time, she/they will understand?

The brave souls who joined the first Julep parlor in our first year are going through so much – I feel like we, as a group, should be able to enjoy the upside of being a small, close team because we’re living through some of the challenges of not having a tested infrastructure.

I guess what I’m realizing is that our first parlor is both the first and the last for me – it’s the first, exciting time we’ve brought Julep to life, but it’s also the bittersweet, last time I’ll be able to be there so fully on the ground, helping and seeing every new development each day.

So I’m walking the line – trying to build systems today that will make future parlors easier, while enjoying the uniqueness of what’s happening at this particular parlor today. Trying to start as I mean to go on, wherever possible, but also treasuring what is happening now, as much I can.

Winter Cranberry Manicure & Pedicure

This week we are rolling out our new Cranberry Manicure and Pedicure services, featuring real cranberries. I’ve only ever used cranberries before in Susan Stamberg’s Cranberry Relish (awesome, by the way – a favorite of Aunt Caroline’s). I didn’t know what I was missing.

The new product and service development process is quite exciting. Nothing ever goes as you expect it to. For example, who would have expected all natural cranberry essential oil to be green? Surprise! But it smells festive, fresh, woodsy and wholesome.

After much research and testing, we’ve finally developed an amazing scrub and ultra-hydrating lotion that we’re excited to share with the world. The scrub features real cranberry seeds, which are just beautiful, delicate and elegant (not to mention moisture-sealing with Omega 3 and 6 fatty acids). It’s like limb art.

This I Believe

I love the NPR series "This I Believe," and I've had some thoughts (helpful rationalizations?) floating around in my head over the past year that I finally got onto my laptop last night. Lots of times women approach me and ask me how I can do a start up with two young kids and a spouse. For what it's worth, I thought I'd share my reflections on navigating work, family, and my mechanism for coping with the inevitable feelings of inadequacy. I'd love to hear any feedback from any of you on these thoughts.

“Paying the Price”

I believe in paying the price. For a hand-thrown, wood-fire glazed ceramic pitcher, I know that I will have to pay more than for its mass produced acrylic counterpart at Target. And I’m happy to do it, because it’s worth it to me.

Unfortunately, in today’s no hassle, no down payment, no-interest-until-they-foreclose-on-your-house world, it’s hard to remember that everything has a price. In America, “free” is almost as constitutional a right as “freedom.”

But to me, free is always a fishy proposition. I believe there is always a price to be paid for the things that are worthwhile.

This principle holds truest for the things that money can’t buy. It is the price of love, fulfillment and self-respect that I add up each day.

As a partner in a marriage and a mom who works outside the home, I know first-hand the price of my definition of an engaging life. What moms who work for pay share with moms who work inside the home is that we’re all paying a price for the lives we choose to lead. We share in this economy of cost - and pay-off.

In my twenties, I was focused on “having it all,” and I was frustrated. A decade and a half later, I now realize that I don’t really want it all, so not having it is not such a big deal. I want only what is meaningful to me, and I’m willing to earn it and fight for it. I’m laden and tired, but engaged in my life and loving it.

It is a constant struggle to prioritize and attach relative value to the different aspects of my life, but engaging in this conversation is necessary to my survival. Without this economics of value, I would drown in a sea of self-criticism for falling short on every critical dimension. The alternative to a world of recognizing relative value is a world in which one is constantly failing to live up to an impossible standard:

“I’m a terrible mom because I forgot to pick up my son at school on his early closure day.”

“I said the world’s stupidest thing to an important investor.”

“I’m an insensitive idiot who deserves to be shot.”

Unfortunately, these are all real reactions I’ve had to real, real unfortunate events.

I’ve come to realize, though, that against the standard of the organized, perfect earth mother or insightful but steady, ovaries-of-steel businesswoman, I can only but fail. When I look up from literally hitting my head in disproportionate self-flagellation, I can now realize that the question I should be asking myself isn’t one about how far I fall short of the unattainable standard of perfection (answer: VERY). The true question I try to remember to ask myself is, “Is it worth it?”

It’s a very powerful question.

For me, sometimes the answer is yes, many times it’s no, and more times than not, I’m not sure.

But the times it is “yes” are what I think they used to call “character building.” When I can remember that the price I pay for an engaging life is a few balls dropped (and shattered) here and there, I can mourn the dropped balls in proportion the balls that are still arcing gracefully through the air. I can find the strength to forgive myself and put the force of energy with which I used to slap myself upside the head into the more productive goal of trying harder next time.

I believe that seeing and weighing the price of things is absolutely necessary to achieving self-respect, and living a life worth living.

Chocolate chocolate chocolate

Chocolate is ALWAYS in, but especially lovely in the fall, when the bright pinks of summer seem like a cruel jest. (Lip color branched out from the standard pinks and reds decades ago (thank you MAC!), but nail color has been irritatingly slower to follow). So broaden your horizons and ask for chocolate nails - a top trend for fall - whether the milk chocolately warmth of our "Hillary" Julep Nail Vernis, or the dark chocolately decadence of our "Lindsay".

Even better as part of our Ultimate Chocolate Experience manicure and pedicure - with a luxurious chocolate scrub and ultra-moisturizing chocolate lotion (also perfect for fall!). To complete the experience, you can savor a chocolate truffle or sip a hot chocolate - enveloping yourself in chocolate inside and out.

PVC Free Gift Sets

Being a start up with limited resources, we just began thinking about holiday gift sets. Yes, major retailers have had their holiday lineups set in stone as of November - last year. But I don't typically get my personal holiday cards out until about Valentine's Day, so this is a major step in the right direction for me.

Anyway, our fabulous new marketing wonder woman, Margot, just e-mailed over some cute bags for the "For My Little Princess" gift set. (Don't worry! We're also putting together awesome giftsets "For my significant other", "For my mom / girlfriend" (who are one in the same for me), and "For my colleague").

ANYWAY. The little flower bag that Margot found has PVC in it, Shari pointed out. And since we're trying to be careful about our environmental footprint and protective of the health and well being of our guests, it turns out that PVC might not be such a great idea. (Read out it here). We're trying to avoid known carcinogens and toxins related to birth disorders. The Seattle Times wrote about avoiding PVC and making "Green" choices for children's toys recently. Some leading retailers are trying to phase out PVC and phthalates in toys.

By the way, our Julep nail vernis formulations are phthalate free (and formaldehyde and toluene free).

And now our gift sets will be PVC free. Thanks to Shari.

Seahawks Wives Event at Julep

On September 29, we hosted "Funky Girls" - an event organized by Sarah Hasselbeck and Rachel Terrill for six girls undergoing cancer treatment. Each of the girls brought a friend in for manicures, pedicures, and makeup application.

The girls were so fun, funny and inspiring. The best part was watching them be ordinary teenagers - picking polish colors, giggling with their friends, and quizzing the Seahawks wives about the love lives of the various players (flipping through the Seahawks brochure, "Does he have a girlfriend? What about him? And him? Well, does he really like her? I mean, are they going to get married?").

One of our vernisseurs, Tracey, said that she went home and hugged her children a little longer that night. Another vernisseur, Lisa, said that she took her family out for dinner and tried to describe the event and how moving it was. But you sorta had to be there.

The event was covered by King 5 news - click on the link to see the video coverage!

Thank you Sarah for organizing such a wonderful event. It was a privilege to be part of it!

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for:

• An amazing, talented team who are open to growth, and seek to say yes as much as humanly possible;
• Warm, funny guests who appreciate our amazing team referenced above;
• A working dryer at home, since the one at work doesn't tumble after 3 months and smells of something burning (MAYTAG 2400, in case you're interested - do not buy unless you like your clothes wet);
• My health, and the health of loved ones (having witnessed the courage of kids who are battling cancer this week at the “Funky Girls” event organized by Sarah Hasselbeck);
• The return of new episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Ugly Betty.